I've just published a book. It's called Delfina, and it's an erotic novel about a rock star who likes to fuck, and who isn't afraid to let the world know. She also can't find a man who won't cheat on her. In the high end world of limousines and million dollar deals, egos go wild and it's all about the latest conquest, not the latest flame. Delfina gets sick of the entanglements that come with it all, and decides to just buy sex instead, with hot men who get her off with stamina and technique. As you can imagine, it's not enough in the long run. And so the story goes.

I haven't read a huge number of erotic or romance or even just sex books. A few, for sure. But I started sampling some of what was out there. I found good things, but a lot of it was boring. I didn't like the fake romantic language, and I felt like they didn't do well with keeping genuine emotion in the mix, abandoning the heart for the pussy and the cock, or the other way around, which cooled things down too much.

My book is really about the character, Delfina. She's strong and tough in the world (it's not easy to climb the music ladder) but she knows that she has to cultivate something deep inside herself in order to stay creative and real.

She's also a great musician, dancer, and singer.

There's no forced sex, no humiliation, and nothing that personally makes me sick. A writer can only go so far in their imagination, at least this writer.

It's not Fifty Shades of Grey by a long shot, but I'm told it's good to mention that book in order to create good Google juju. Still, what was good about Fifty Shades of Grey was that it really was about relationship. A fucked up relationship that gets more normal. The S and M stuff seemed mostly like a way to get people intrigued. And I'm not sure how far most people really want to go into that. In reality, probably not many.

So, the book is available at Amazon Delfina and after a while it will be on Nook and IBooks. If you are interested in reading it, it's 2.99 for Kindle, but it will be available for free four times in the next two months. If you're interested in when, follow this blog and I'll announce it well in advance.

Thanks
P. K. Belden

Sex as Spirituality

Is talking about sex as spiritual just a justification for doing something we enjoy and desire, trying to repurpose this fundamentally human activity into a highway to heaven? Sex certainly can be a highway to heaven, but that may be a bit different than what I'm talking about.

There are traditions that see sex as a pathway to enlightenment, greater compassion, empathy, and self control. Although those traditions have made small entrances into Western culture, they haven't really gained a foothold as commonly followed spiritual practice. Instead, as is so often true in the West, we are left to follow our own way, to carve out a journey, carrying bits and pieces of relevant ideas that do seem true when tested against experience.

This is how I've built my own understanding of sexuality, pulling snippets of conversation, phrases from reading, and insights from experience into a constantly shifting edifice that includes sexuality as a form of spiritual knowing and understanding.

What does that look like?

Sex can be transcendent, and may be as close to God as we can come, without years of meditation or drugs or the random intrusion of eternity into our daily life, which does appear once in a great while. Joseph Campbell said that we don't look for meaning, we look for the feeling of being alive and connected. Sounds like sex to me.

The issue is that, like anything else, the feeling fades and we're left staring at the ceiling, avoiding the wet spot. Maybe good sex is a glimpse of immortality and transcendence. And bad sex, at its worst, a glimpse of purgatory. Or hell, in the even worse case.

I've come across other blogs that consider this question. Elephant is one.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/09/soul-penetration-awakening-into-our-sexually-spiritual-potential-lindsey-oneill/

Go Deeper is another.

http://godeeperpress.wordpress.com/2012/09/25/sex-a-spiritual-affair/

How does sex lead to spirit? A question to ponder. But right now, my lover is calling me. Sounds like God knocking at the door...